Thursday, March 17, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Baldy Brawl

March Madness is in full swing in the NCAA. Here's the next match up in the movie badass bracket. Younger viewers will recognize Jason Statham for kicking ass, lubed up in motor oil in the Transporter movie series; but John McClaine himself Bruce Willis has been rocking the bald head for almost three decades now. It's a pretty big matchup. Let's go to the movies.

The Bank Job - 79
The Italian Job - 73
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - 73
Crank - 61
War - 12
Death Race - 42
Snatch - 72
Cellular - 54
The Transporter - 54
Ghosts of Mars - 20
score out of 1000 - 540 54%

Die Hard - 94
Red - 71
Hudson Hawk - 20
The Last Boy Scout - 43
Twelve Monkeys - 87
The Fith Element - 72
Unbreakable - 66
The Sixth Sense - 85
Armageddon - 41
Sin City - 78
score out of 1000 - 657 65.7%

Willis is in the lead, having been in more higher rated movies than Statham, and both appeared in Stallone's badass orgy The Expendable. Sadly a fight between the two was not in the cards, but I hear Willis may be the villain if a sequel is made... Maybe then we'd see this brawl actually happen. Compared to JCVD and Seagal these two guys have made quite a lot of successful movies both have spawned successful franchises (with a Die Hard 5 in the works right now.) That's not to say they haven't had their stinkers... aside from one enjoyable music number Hudson Hawk may be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And Crank may have been outlandish, but it worked and when Statham's character dies at the end (spoiler If you were going to see it you would have seen it by now, get over it) it was a logical ending; but no they decided to do a sequel which was terrible. Seriously, who survives falling out of a helicopter?

Winner of the Match (Bruce Willis)
Bruce wins. The reason is simple, it only takes two words. Die Hard. The movie shot his career into the stratosphere. He created a character with depth, humor and the ability to kick major ass, with no shoes on to boot. Statham is great, but he became popular in a time when hyper-stylized action with wire worked and shaky cam footage is king. Don't get me wrong, the movies are great, but Willis has that little something extra that gives him the edge in this fight.

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