Tuesday, March 29, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Damon vs Walhberg

This matchup features two people currently holding down for the today's generation of badass. Ironically they crossed paths already in The Departed. If you want to know who won that duel, I'd rent The Departed (there will be no spoiler's here.) But who is more bad ass, Wahlberg or Damon. Let's look at the movies.

Max Payne - 16
The Fighter - 90
Four Brothers - 52
The Itallian Job - 73
The Big Hit - 41
Three Kings - 94
Planet of the Apes - 45
Shooter - 48
The Other Guys - 78
The Happening - 18
score out of 1000 - 555 55.5%

Good Will Hunting - 91
True Grit - 95
Green Zone - 54
The Bourne Ultimatum - 93
Ocean's Eleven - 82
The Talented Mr. Ripley - 83
Saving Private Ryan - 91
Rounders - 64
Dogma - 67
The Brothers Grimm - 37
score out of 1000 - 757 75.7%

Good Will Hunting took Damon's film career and shot it into the stratosphere, but his role in The Bourne Identity solidified his role as a film bad ass. Wahlberg's had a great career as well, starring in a reboot of The Planet of the Apes as well as the remake of The Italian Job. They've each had a few misfires, Damon starred alongside the late Heath Ledger in a movie about the authors of the Grimm Fairy Tales, The Brothers Grimm; Walhberg appeared in a not too well received adaptation of the video game Max Payne. They may not have been the best reviewed movies, but they were filled with great action.

Winner of the Matchup: Matt Damon. Damon is Jason Bourne, he made three amazing action movies featuring frenetic fight scenes, gunfights and car chases. He dined with the president of South Africa and won the Rugby World Cup in Invictus, an inspirational movie from director Clint Eastwood (another bad ass.) He was apart of triumvirate of superstars at the head of a large group of thieves in the Ocean's Eleven. He's had a big career, he's still going and sadly, he beats Marky Mark.

Marky Mark might have won if he had the Funky Bunch with him.

Monday, March 28, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Clint vs Mel

I have chosen to ignore the later-day sins of Mel Gibson because I love his films. He's gone from being a really good actor and grown into a very good director. If we can agree to ignore all the other stuff we can move on to the matchup. Who's more bad ass Clint Eastwood or Mel Gibson? Let's check the stats.


Gran Torino - 80
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - 98
In the Line of Fire - 95
Absolute Power - 46
Unforgiven - 96
Pink Cadillac - 15
The Outlaw Josey Wales = 97
Dirty Harry - 95
The Dead Pool - 54
True Crime - 53
score out of 1000 - 730 73.0%

Mel Gibson
Lethal Weapon - 90
Mad Max - 95
Signs - 74
The Patriot - 62
Conspiracy Theory - 51
Ransom - 70
Braveheart - 79
The Road Warrior - 100
Chicken Run - 96
We Were Soldiers - 63
score out of 1000 - 780 78.0%

It's pretty close between the two when it comes to movies acted in. Think about it, Clint gave us Dirty Harry, the Man With No Name (or Joe if you have to be difficult.) Mel gave us Martin Riggs and Mad Max. The Dirty Harry franchise spanned five films and the Lethal Weapon series ended at four with a proposed reboot/remake? in the works. They've each made their way into the director's chair with Clint shifting his focus to directing with movies like Mystic River, Invictus, and Million Dollar Baby. Mel may be best known for riding a horse in Braveheart but he also directed the movie as well as Apocalypto. Controversy surrounded his adaption of The Passion of the Christ but just look at what he achieved with that movie, a movie written and directed by him spoken in Aramaic and Latin. It's the highest-grossing rated R movie of all time as well as the highest-grossing foreign language film of all time.

Winner of the Matchup: Clint Eastwood. I know Mel has done a lot for bad asses everywhere. Mad Max may be one of the most bad ass movies of all time and Mel's first appearance in Lethal Weapon on a ledge with a jumper and then jumping off.. Awesome. But come on. Clint is the man. Dirty Harry is an influential movie, for it's contribution to the cop movie; it is also a great example of taking current events, the zodiac killer, and making a fictional story inspired by them. He's made some great movies starring himself too, like Space Cowboys and Gran Torino. When you think bad ass Clint Eastwood is the epitome of the word.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Fishburne vs Jackson

I originally intended to have Samuel L Jackson vs Wesley Snipes, who has done some very badass roles, but hey... You have to pay your taxes. So Snipes being off in prison, he's disqualified, and Cowboy Curtis is in his place. Let's go through the numbers and see how they match up.

Samuel L Jackson
GoodFellas - 97
Snakes on a Plane - 69
Star Wars: Episode III - 80
Changing Lanes - 77
Shaft - 68
The Negotiator - 75
Jackie Brown - 86
The Long Kiss Goodnight - 69
Patriot Games - 75
Juice - 85
score out of 1000 - 781 78.1

Laurence Fishburne
The Matrix - 87
Deep Cover - 85
Boyz n the Hood - 98
Predators - 64
Apocalypse Now - 98
Event Horizon - 21
Fled - 14
Assault of Precinct 13 - 60
Mission: Impossible III - 70
King of New York - 70
score out of 1000 - 667 66.7

Both actors has had long successful careers. It's hard to choose between them based on there body of work. Fishburne gave us Morpheus, a badass with sweet gravity-defying shades. He lied about his age so he could be cast as an underage kid in Vietnam in Apocalypse Now. But he may be best know for his role in what can be considered a modern day classic Boyz n the Hood. SLJ has been in a ton of movies, and commands the screen as soon as he arrives. He's know for that awful jhery curl in Pulp Fiction, and being the only jedi badass enough to rock a purple lightsaber.

Winner of the Matchup: Samuel L Jackson. When you talk about badasses you cannot ignore SLJ. In Long Kiss Goodnight, he wears a green suede suit with red leather loafers, get shot a couple of times, is spitting up blood and still manages to drive a car off a bridge while a bomb explodes behind him. Only he could pull that off. Give him a jhery curl wig, a braided soul patch, or let him rock the cue ball and he's always amazing. Plus in real life he signed on to do Snakes on a Plane based purely on the title, and when the studio wanted to change the title he threatened to walk away... they backed down.

Monday, March 21, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Cheese Vs Cheese

Here's the cheesiest battle in the bracket, Patrick Swayze vs Kurt Russell. It is kinda hard to do this one without catching grief knowing the fact that Swayze has passed away. The question is who is more badass, Kurt Russell or Patrick Swayze? Let's look at the numbers.

Kurt Russell
Soldier - 10
Grindhouse - 83
Tombstone - 77
Executive Decision - 65
Escape from New York - 82
Swing Shift - 100
Big Trouble in Little China - 82
The Thing - 80
Backdraft - 72
Stargate - 47
score out of 1000 - 698 69.8%

Patrick Swayze
Ghost - 81
Donnie Darko - 84
Black Dog - 11
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar - 42
Point Break - 67
Road House - 44
Dirty Dancing - 68
The Outsiders - 66
Powder Blue - 25
Red Dawn - 53
score out of 1000 - 541 54.1%

Patrick Swayze's know for three major movies, Road House, Point Break and Red Dawn. Personally I can't stand Road House or Red Dawn for some reason but Point Break was pretty good. Swayze had a great career including Donnie Darko, Dirty Dancing and Ghost. He did do a couple stinkers, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar immediately comes to mind. Kurt Russell has had a long career. Escape from New York is one of his best appearances and took him from child actor status to movie badass. He has made a name for himself for in Big Trouble in Little China, Backdraft and a criminally underrated Stargate.

Winner of the Matchup: Kurt Russell
Don't get me wrong, Patrick Swayze is most definitely bad ass. Just look at what he had to go through on the set of the A&E series The Beast. He was sick with cancer, went to receive Chemotherapy treatments, and would film a take then go puke and then come back and do another take. That's pretty bad ass. Kurt Russell wins for the fact that he has more badass roles. He was Stuntman Mike in Grindhouse, he was the original Jack O'Neal in Stargate, but he's know for Snake Plissken, the antihero from John Carpenter's Escape From New York, the inspiration for the Metal Gear Solid hero Solid Snake. Here's another thing, Kurt Russell directed Tombstone even though the credit went to George P. Cosmatos. 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Kung Fu Showdown

When Forbidden Kingdom was released it gave the fanboys a glimpse at on of the fights we've all wanted to see, Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Sure the fight the two had was full of fancy wire work, and the movie was all about the two of them training a young boy a la A Kid in King Arthur's Court... Take a look at the fight on youtube. Let's go through the stats...

Jet Li
Fearless - 73
Hero - 95
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - 13
Romeo Must Die - 32
Kiss of the Dragon - 51
Fist of Legend - 100
Once Upon a Time in China - 88
Lethal Weapon 4 - 55
Unleashed - 65
The One - 14
score out of 1000 - 586 58.6%

Jackie Chan
The Karate Kid -66
Who Am I? - 63
Project A - 82
Shanghai Noon - 79
Rush Hour - 62
Police Story - 83
The Legend of Drunken Master - 83
Kung Fu Panda - 88
The Spy Next Door - 13
The Medallion - 18
score out of 1000 - 637 63.7%

Both Jackie Chan and Jet Li had amazing movie careers in China, including modern day classics like the Once Upon a Time in China trilogy for Jet and the series of Police Story movie Jackie starred in.Jet Li starred in epic fare like Hero and Jackie Chan created fluid stunt sequences in Project A and Drunken Master. The reason Jackie Chan wins the matchup has to do with more the movies they both have done here in the states. Jet Li has done some entertaining American movies, debuting in Lethal Weapon 4 and appearing in kung-fu/hip-hop crossovers like Romeo Must Die, War and Kiss of the Dragon. Jackie Chan appeared in multiple well received movies, including the incredibly successful Rush Hour films and the Shanghai Noon/Knights movies.

Winner of the Matchup: Jackie Chan

To me this is like the unstoppable force vs the immovable object. A real fight between the two would be so insane thing to behold. I wouldn't want to see a winner, but if I had to choose between the two based purely on fighting style I'd pick Jet. I picked Jackie based on some of the punishment he's taken for his craft over the years, youtube some of the videos of the outtakes on his movies and you'll see why he's so badass.

Doctor Who Returns

Doctor Who is coming back soon. April 23rd is the premiere of the 6th series since the show returned in 2005. What's surprising is the announcement that Who fans won't have to wait to see the episodes, the show will be premiering in the states the same night it would premiere in England. 

I am a big fan of the Doctor and I am very excited to see anything Who related. This past Friday for Red Nose Day, a charity event from Comedy Relief a two part short premiered featuring the Doctor, Amy Pond and her new husband Rory on the Tardis. The story titled Time is pretty funny, and works as a lead-in to the premiere episode entitled "The Impossible Astronaut."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Community's Coming Back for Thirds

Zip Zop Zooey

It looks like NBCUniversal gets one thing right every now and then... Community just got renewed for a third season along side Parks and Recreation and The Office (seriously, that show isn't ending when Steve Carell leaves?) I'm surprised Community lasted more than a season. I loved it from the pilot and more often than not the shows I enjoy end up getting cancelled, and more often than not they are on NBC.

I cannot wait for the rest of the season, tonight's episode was good, not a centric episode about paintball or a homage to gangster films. That's what makes this show so enjoyable; the jokes can be in bombastic and in your face or the joke can be subversive, the type you have to rewind and watch again just to make sure it's okay to laugh at.

When I found out Community was coming back for a third season, I dropped my phone and did my best Magnitude impersonation possible.

March Movie Badass Madness - Baldy Brawl

March Madness is in full swing in the NCAA. Here's the next match up in the movie badass bracket. Younger viewers will recognize Jason Statham for kicking ass, lubed up in motor oil in the Transporter movie series; but John McClaine himself Bruce Willis has been rocking the bald head for almost three decades now. It's a pretty big matchup. Let's go to the movies.

The Bank Job - 79
The Italian Job - 73
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - 73
Crank - 61
War - 12
Death Race - 42
Snatch - 72
Cellular - 54
The Transporter - 54
Ghosts of Mars - 20
score out of 1000 - 540 54%

Die Hard - 94
Red - 71
Hudson Hawk - 20
The Last Boy Scout - 43
Twelve Monkeys - 87
The Fith Element - 72
Unbreakable - 66
The Sixth Sense - 85
Armageddon - 41
Sin City - 78
score out of 1000 - 657 65.7%

Willis is in the lead, having been in more higher rated movies than Statham, and both appeared in Stallone's badass orgy The Expendable. Sadly a fight between the two was not in the cards, but I hear Willis may be the villain if a sequel is made... Maybe then we'd see this brawl actually happen. Compared to JCVD and Seagal these two guys have made quite a lot of successful movies both have spawned successful franchises (with a Die Hard 5 in the works right now.) That's not to say they haven't had their stinkers... aside from one enjoyable music number Hudson Hawk may be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And Crank may have been outlandish, but it worked and when Statham's character dies at the end (spoiler If you were going to see it you would have seen it by now, get over it) it was a logical ending; but no they decided to do a sequel which was terrible. Seriously, who survives falling out of a helicopter?

Winner of the Match (Bruce Willis)
Bruce wins. The reason is simple, it only takes two words. Die Hard. The movie shot his career into the stratosphere. He created a character with depth, humor and the ability to kick major ass, with no shoes on to boot. Statham is great, but he became popular in a time when hyper-stylized action with wire worked and shaky cam footage is king. Don't get me wrong, the movies are great, but Willis has that little something extra that gives him the edge in this fight.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Punch Vs Ponch

This is a grudge match, with the key word being grudge. Years ago, there apparently was a feud between JCVD and Seagal because Seagal said he could beat JCVD in a fight. Van Damme stepped up to the challenge and Seagal backed down. So who would win the eventual fight... let's look at the numbers.

JCVD - 85
Universal Soldier - 22
Blood Sport - 33
Hard Target - 48
Sudden Death - 52
Timecop - 46
Legionnaire - 29
Maximum Risk - 29
Street Fighter - 13
Nowhere to Run - 26

Score out of 100 - 383 38.3%

Steven Seagal
Machete - 72
Under Siege - 74
Exit Wounds - 32
Fire Down Below - 12
Executive Decision - 65
The Glimmer Man - 13
Above the Law - 57
Hard to Kill - 30
Marked for Death - 22
Out for Justice - 20

Score out of 1000 - 397 39.7%

Seagal is in the lead by the narrowest of margins. Here's the problem with these two guys. They both kick serious ass, there's no doubt about that. They just haven't kicked any ass we've wanted to see for a long time. For all the critical acclaim for JCVD I never had any inclination to watch it. The last movie I saw Steven Seagal in that was actually a theatrical release (that is before I saw Machete) was Exit Wounds... a movie that tried to follow in the footstep's of Jet Li's Romeo Must Die, appealing to the black audiences and anyone who likes martial arts/wirework movies. Their most successful movies came in the late 80's and early 90's, JCVD made Blood Sport and Seagal had Under Siege.

Winner of this matchup: Steven Seagal. The reason Seagal moves on and not JCVD is simple. Seagal has definitely put on some poundage in the past 20 years... he fills out his Gi quite nicely as well as his police uniform. As much as we like to give him grief about being portly, he could still wipe the crap out of us. He also seems to have a good sense of humor about himself, allowing cameras to follow him around while he patrols the streets of Jefferson Parrish, Louisiana in Steven Seagal: Lawman and not to mention playing a villain opposite Danny Trejo in Machete. JCVD is old and will continue to make movies, but he's just too darn serious; Sylvester Stallone wants JCVD for a sequel to Expendables but JCVD has public said he wouldn't do it if Seagal was included. That's okay, skip an opportunity to appear in a movie that will actually have a theatrical release.

Seagal moves on to face Arnie in the next round... Will he stand a chance?

Seagal may be fat, but he's still got some fast ass hands.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Red Skull Revealed

Until now the information about Captain America has been pretty sparse. The most we've gotten so far was the Super Bowl teaser which contained nothing more than a few quick flashes of action, this includes one quick shot of Hugo Weaving as Cappy's nemesis Red Skull.

Here's Hugo as Red Skull holding what looks to be a Cosmic Cube

Here's a shot of Red Skull pulling of what looks to be a mask.

Here's the first good look at Hugo Weaving in full make-up as Red Skull. I think he looks great. I love the SS outfit, all the way down to the H.Y.D.R.A. belt buckle. Personally I get more excited about a movie when they decide to stay tight lipped about information. The anticipation is part of what makes sitting in the theater at midnight so exciting.

 I hope there's a trailer coming out soon... as much as I love Thor, this and Green Lantern are the movies I want to see this summer.

March Movie Badass Madness - Icon Vs Icon

Let's get the big one out of the way first. Who's the bigger badass, Arnie or Sly?

Lets go to through the numbers, here are the ten movies I picked from Rotten Tomatoes for Arnie and Sly


  1. The Expendables - 41
  2. First Blood - 86
  3. Rocky - 93
  4. Rocky II - 71
  5. Demolition Man - 63
  6. Get Carter - 12
  7. Cop Land - 71
  8. Cliffhanger - 82
  9. Cobra - 07
  10. Tango and Cash - 39

Score out of 1000 - 565 56.5%


  1. Terminator - 100
  2. Collateral Damage - 18
  3. True Lies - 69
  4. Total Recall - 81
  5. Predator - 76
  6. Commando - 69
  7. The Running Man - 63
  8. Conan the Barbarian - 76
  9. Kindergarten Cop - 52
  10. Last Action Hero - 38

Score out of 1000 - 642  64.2%

On movies alone, Arnold is in the lead, he has more hits than Sly, including two science fiction classics The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day. On the other hand, Sly did give us Rambo and Rocky two iconic characters. Some people may say they overstayed their welcome, Rocky spawning five sequels include Rocky V, where Rocky punch-drunk and past his prime streetfights another boxer (how the mighty have fallen.) Later though, he would go on to appear in Cliffhanger, a critical and commercial success. Arnold did make some stinkers every now and then. After doing two movies based on the character Conan he reappeared as the Cimmerian in an epic flop, Red Sonja. He also made Collateral Damage which came out after 9/11 so it faired poorly at a time when critics did not to see movies about terrorism.

WINNER OF THE MATCHUP: Arnold Schwarzenegger

I picked Arnold as the winner of this matchup for a few reasons. Both actors have done a lot for action movies; there wouldn't be a Predator or Terminator, Rambo or Rocky. Outside of movies, they were responsible for the successful chain of Planet Hollywood restaurants with their cohort Bruce Willis. But when you think about it, look what Arnold has done. He became governor of California, even if he can't pronounce it properly. He might not have been the best governor of all time, but he stepped up amid a flood of controversy and manned a sinking ship; he did it well enough to warrant a second term. What did Stallone do? He got a statue of Rocky in Philadelphia, and directed himself in a couple movies, Rocky Balboa, Rambo and last year's The Expendables.

Seriously, who's more badass, Dutch or John Spartan

Saturday, March 5, 2011

March Movie Badass Madness - Bracket Set

So here's the Bracket for March Movie Badass Madness. I had a list of over 30 actors to pick through and I think I've come up with a great group of sixteen. Some people were dropped from the final roster for various reasons, like Wesley Snipes going to prison for not paying his taxes did disqualify him eventhough he did do some very badass movies, Passenger 57 for example. Thanks to Challonge.com you can follow the bracket while I make my decisions. The first matchup between Arnold and Sly will be tomorrow... Check back to see who's the first to move on in the tournament.