Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Return of My Weekend Crush

So it's been a while since I've done one of these... But here goes. So I've been rewatching Community in preparation for the second season premiere a few weeks from now. Of course I love the pratfalls of Chevy Chase and the Dr. Doogey Seacrest jokes about Joel McHale, and my favorite scene might be the Troy and Abed in the Morning bit. But I keep thinking about how adorable Alison Brie is.

She pops up every now and then as Pete Campbell's wife in Mad Men, but on Community she is hilarious. She's also appeared on G4's Attack of the Show where she and Kevin Pereira made egg salad sandwiches with their feet.

My favorite bit from Community had to be the joke about her making the Disney Face... I can't remember which livejournal posting it was, but somebody actually took some of her reactions and compared them to Disney princesses.

Tell me she doesn't look like Ariel with those fluttering eyes and pouty lips.

I cannot wait to see what happens when Community premieres September 23rd especially after the final moments of the season finale.

How could Annie pass up the next Yngwie Macadangdang Jr.?

Friday, August 27, 2010

Getting to be That Time of Year Again

From Fall Colors

I cannot believe it's almost September. Next thing you know it will be Christmas, and the odds are that I still probably will not have a job... Sigh anywho here's a slideshow of my neighborhood in the Fall... Get your rakes and jack o'lantern orange pumpkin garbages bags ready.

BTW - Check out Scott Pilgrim the Game if you have Xbox Live or a Playstation 3... Here's the Trailer.

My Trip to Shanghai

So there were two things I did not get the opportunity to blog about while I was still in China and they both had to do with the trip I took to Shanghai the weekend of the F1 Grand Prix. One had to do with the hotel I was staying at.  The hotel was nice, a short distance from downtown Pudong in Shanghai... but what made this hotel so fun to stay at was the fact that it was made for sex.

Let me explain. So when you first step through the door and put your room key in the dock that turns the lights on you see the bathroom. The sink is covered in marble and strong enough to rest even the heaviest of butts on. The walk-in shower has room for at least four people with multiple shower heads. It's a shower made for an orgy, so have fun kids. Then there's the bedroom... There are two queen size beds. You break one and you have another for spare. Then there's the lighting. Near one of the beds there is a circular knob which controls the lighting in the ceiling. With all other lights off you can adjust it to the desired mood lighting effect you're looking to achieve. Then there's the nightstand. The nightstand contained all of your sexual pleasure needs, all at a reasonable price.

  1. Pre/Post Coitus His and Her personal wipes for freshening up... How considerate.
  2. (Unoffically endorsed) J-LO condoms... 2 per pack
  3. Vibrator you slip on your finger like a Legion of Superheroes ring, with condom. For the ladies, or the adventurous male hotel guest. (It's funny that the package misspelled vibrator...)
Then theres the perfectly balanced desk and a small stool-thingy which I guess is designed for rested your shoes on.

And the second thing had to do with the toilet. The Shanghai World Financial Center build is the Guinness World Record holder for the world's highest observatory at the 101st floor. On the 93 floor is the bar and restaurant of the Park Hyatt hotel. They have amazing fresh fish and prepared gourmet dining choices. The bar also serves fancy expensive drinks, like the Bloodless Mary martini (bloodless because it has clear tomato juice.) But the best thing about the hotel are the bathrooms...

You make your way through this darkly lit corridor  to the alcove where a doorman gets you with smiles and hot towels. You can sidle up to one of the stalls or go into your own private room toilet with a spotlight on the toilet. This toilet is the king of all toilets... let's run down the features (yes, the toilet has features like a laptop)

  • Heated seat cushion that warms you butt just to the point of burning the hairs off, but hot enough to relax the pipes. After you lift off the seat a lid covers the seat and hot steam cleans the seat.
  • The seat comes with a console next to the toilet paper rack that controls the built-in bidet that can be adjusted to hit you dead center... There is also a front-washing feature that gives you a different angle for clean up. Also, depending on your kinkiness there the bidets have oscillating and pulsating action buttons. and when your down the machine can even blow-dry your nethers.
The toilet is like mana from heaven... It's the throne of the gods... more hotels should have those in there rooms; sure beats the quarter a minute Magic Fingers.

oh the fun you can get into in Shanghai.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Scott Pilgrim vs The Matrix

I loved Scott Pilgrim when I saw it in the theater, so much so I saw it twice. This youtube trailer was hilarious, a mash-up of The Matrix and the Scott Pilgrim trailer.

Another great Scott Pilgrim trailer recreation is this one where the trailer's scenes were replaced with panels from the graphic novels.

F**K You, Hey, it's Just the Name of a Song

This was the greatest thing I have seen on the internet since I've been back in the states... Many people know Cee-Lo Green as that black dude from Gnarls Barkley, but he is a killer solo artist as well. Here's his new single that will probably never be on the radio. When a song is titled F**K You or any permutation/iteration of the f-star-star bomb it's safe to say it has to do with some sexy intercourse or it's got some hostility behind it. This song is no different in that sense, where it differs from the rest of the star-star brigade is it sounds like an angst-ridden Motown single, and not like some misogynistic song. Enjoy it.

Personally I cannot wait for his album Ladykiller to drop. This made me pull out my CD copy of Cee-Lo Green is the Soul Machine.

Guess Who...

It's good to be back home in the United States... It has definitely been a while so here are the most crucial updates. My last official day working at USTC was June 30th, but due to having one of my bosses buy my ticket for me I did not leave China until the 10th of July... I was a very dull boy for those two weeks, eating food, watching World Cup soccer, staying up into the wee hours of the night because of 90 degree heat at midnight and road construction outside my apartment that only happened at night (which facilitated my watching World Cup matches at 4am)... spending my hard earned money!!! I had a lot of free time on my hands but I did not spend any of that time blogging because I was too frustrated by my financial situation and a rant did not seem like the smart thing to do while I was still in China. I was dealing with on bureaucratic nightmare after another in those last few weeks and ending wasting a lot of time and money in the process. I did manage to add to my Clandestine DVD collection in the last few weeks; it was already a large collection, enough to fill a spanking new DVD case. So here is my final Clandestine DVD Pickups

  • Band of Brothers and The Pacific (Both HBO WWII Miniseries)
  • The 1st Season of Lie to Me
  • Supernatural Seasons 1-5
  • GI: Joe - The Rise of Cobra
  • A Serious Man
  • Lost in Translation
  • Across the Universe
  • Juno
  • Trainspotting
  • The Third Man
  • American Beauty
  • The Graduate
  • In The Loop
  • Once
  • Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • Little Miss Sunshine
A pretty good collection of good movies, and movies I enjoy no matter what the critics think... If I go back for the Spring semester, I'll probably have another stack of DVDs, what with movies like Inception and Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Since I've been home I've seen each of those movies twice. I even went to the midnight showing of Scott Pilgrim with @Ewzzy And, since I've been back it's been nothing but satellite television and video games. I bought myself one of those sleek new Xbox 360 slims when I got home... that was a higher priority than finding a job.

So the day I flew home I decided to take one last trip into Shanghai for lunch and a quick cocktail at Hyatt hotel inside the Shanghai World Financial Center Building (The Bottle Opener as us Expats called it.) I got lunch at a Starbucks, from a Chinese girl who spoke English, which was like hearing an angel's voice. I decided to take my last Number 2 in the Hyatt bar's A-MA-Zing toilets which I will be blogging about soon. Don't worry it won't be graphic... It was like crapping on a cloud. Anywho, here are some pictures from that last trip Back to the City...

So the plan for the immediate future is as follows:

  1. Find a job, doesn't matter what.
  2. Get my diploma outta hock from Butler University
  3. Take and hopefully pass the GRE
  4. Apply to Gradschools and Teach America
  5. (Contingency Plan) Go back to USTC in China, if and only if there are no jobs to be had in the states.
Here's a China related Demotivational Poster... just for kicks.

Sound like a solid plan?