Thursday, February 21, 2008

Best Supporting Oscar Goes to....

Counting down the days to the Oscars I'll been taking a closer look at some of the nominations. The one that has been the most interesting one for me so far is Best Supporting actor, especially seeing how Best Actor is all but locked up with Daniel Day Lewis. I have had my loyalties to Javier Bardem for his kickassery in No Country For Old Men...which was a phenomenal movie experience. I got a chance to see three of the other four nominees in their outings on film. Hal Holbrook gave the quintessential Oscar winning monologue in Into the Wild, Tom Wilkinson played a manic-depressive lawyer in Michael Clayton, and Casey Affleck played a very obsessive admirer in The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford.
First off, I have to give Casey Affleck major props for his role in Gone Baby Gone, and am rather pissed that he, like Josh Brolin, was left out of the Best actor nod. His performance was so surreal on an epic scale as Robert Ford...you could almost cut the hetero/homo male-on-male lusting tension with a knife. He's the youngest of those nominated and has potential to take it for those other well deserving guys.Some people who have seen NCFOM say that Chigur didn't really do a whole lot...he just shot people with an air compressor and a fecalator of a shotgun. But, the whole movie is a look into the mind of a madman on a mission, and his unflinching will to accomplish a task set in front of him.
Tom Wilkinson stunned me with his ludicrous-speed dialog. He knew he was right, but couldn't make anyone believe him; or more like he wasn't able to make come out right and that came out perfectly on screen.
OSCAR NIGHT/Sunday 2/24 Cannot wait

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Random Zach Galifianakis Sighting #3


In anticipation of his set at Butler I've been looking at random appearances of Zach Galifianakis. He's one when he refused to dance in the audience at Ellen's talkshow...With his skank beard...kinda hard not to be noticed.

A Momentary Lapse in Reasoning - Lip Augmentation

This has been somethings that has been bothering me for a while. And, seeing how I'm bed ridden and my keyboard is within reach it's time for me to speak out about it. Now, I can completely understand the reasoning behind wanting to go under the knife to make parts of you look better, breast implants fuel the porn industry, tummy tucks and liposuction fuel the modeling world along with eating disorders. But, when it comes to the lips, that's gotta be the place where it stops. The growing trend is to go for fuller pouty lips to rival natural big lips. Well, let me just say, injecting collagen does not look awesome. There's nothing more unattractive.
  1. It's obvious...your lipline and skinline bulges out like a stretch mark....ew
  2. Your lips look like chunky fat baby fingers or vienna sausages...double ew
  3. I would bet that it feels awkard; to you with all that extra face weight and to the males who have to work around landfill lips....thrice times ew
What concerned citizen would if I didn't offer examples. I'm going deep into the well, and picking on alot of genres (television, movies, pro wrestling, and music) to give you examples. Now, these are examples of bad ones, some are okay...proceed with caution if you must augment your lips:


Real

Not Real

Damn, definitely Not Real

Just Sad

Monday, February 18, 2008

Pineapple Express...I.E. Best Stoner Movie for this Millenium

Judd Apatow and company have to be on of the hardest working cliques in Hollywood. They just had two great movies come out, Superbad and Knocked Up, and their coming back for more. Seth Rogen and James Franco star in The Pineapple Express, a movie all about pot. I could go into an in-depth explanation of what the plot is supposed to be, but honestly, it's something you have to see to believe. Also coming soon from the Apatow guys is Forgetting Sarah Marshall...I'm more excited about this than I was about getting confirmed in the Catholic faith. What kinda sorcery was done to get Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, herself) and Marshall from HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother) for the unawares in the same movie together...sheer brilliance is what it is. Expect to see all of the regulars like Paul Rudd and Jonah Hill. Oh god, I cannot wait until the summer. Shout out to Vanity Fair for the awesome picture of Seth Rogen homaging North By Northwest.



Check out funnyordie.com...it's awesome.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

My (Almost not) Weekend Crush

Okay, I've had a lot going on; my mother got rushed to the hospital with gastroenteritis after having the flu last week so I've not been paying too much attention to the beautiful ladies as much as normal. I did happen to catch American Pie 2 on USA, horribly edited I must say. But once I figured out that was what it was all I could remember was the first one and a certain scene with Shannon Elizabeth. Understandable when most people think of American Pie they think of Jason Biggs thoroughly obliterating a pie with his willy. Oh, high school innocence, good times. I guess guys fucking pies is more appealing than girls more than half way naked doing the unnameable on a guys bed to his porn, but thats not my thinking. Anywho, I bet you're waiting for some whoppers...Enjoy my friends... (By the way...W(here)-T-fuck has Shannon Elizabeth gone to? She used to be in everything were boobies would be, now she's gone...it's sad is all...again, Enjoy
[2/19 EDIT] My precognition abilities must be heightened in this altered state of sickness. Shannon Elizabeth will be returning from obscruity to join the new cast of Dancing With the Stars...no way she's beating Penn Jillette or Steve Guttenberg.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Random Galifianakis Sighting # 1 and 2

So Zach Galifianakis is coming to Butler University in mid March (FOR FREE!!!) and to get myself prepared for that I'm documenting random sightings of the pulp comic throughout comedy, movies and all forms of entertainment. Most recently (last night) I noticed a really defined grizzled looking man in the middle of the movie Into the Wild starring Emile Hirsch. What before my wandering eyes should appear but Zach Galifianakis, teaching young Alexander Supertramp how to skin meat caught in the wild.


Here's an interesting sighting of Zach Galifianakis...he appears in a Kanye West music video for the song Can't Tell Me Nothing...here's both versions, decide which is better for yourself. Interesting note: Kanye West officially commissioned Zach Galifianakis to make his own parody music video.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Strike is Over

As soon as I saw the decision had come down to end the writer's strike was over all I could think about was that scene from Matrix Revolutions where the kid Neo saved from the Matrix told Zion the war was over. I can just see some freckle-face newbie in the Guild running into a room full of my heroes, Joss Whedon and Brian K. Vaughan and other people, screaming "It's over, the strike is over!" and some random guy screams and everyone celebrates by running to their cars, AND GETTING THE FUCK BACK TO WORK!!! I want my fucking programs.

My Oscar Picks...I'm Jumping on the Bandwagon

Well as the title says I've decided to jump on board and give my Oscar picks for this season. I'm following Roger Ebert's stylings. (These are not Roger Ebert's opinions, they are all my own.)
Best Picture
Should Win: Juno
Will Win: There Will Be Blood
Dark horse: Juno

Best Actor
Should Win: Daniel Day Lewis (There Will Be Blood)
Will Win: Daniel Day Lewis (There Will Be Blood)
Dark horse: Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)

Best Actress
Should Win: Ellen Page (Juno)
Will Win: Julie Christie (Away From Her)
Dark horse: Ellen Page & Marion Cotilliard (La Vie En Rose)

Best Supporting Actor
Should Win: Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men)
Will Win: Javier Bardem
Dark horse: Casey Affleck: (The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford)

Best Supporting Actress
Should Win: Ruby Dee (American Gangster)
Will Win: Cate Blanchett (I'm Not There)
Dark horse: Ruby Dee & Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone)


Best Original Screenplay
Should Win: Diablo Cody (Juno
Will Win: Diablo Cody
Dark horse: (Michael Clayton)

Best Adapted Screenplay
Should Win: Coen Brothers (No Country For Old Men)
Will Win: Coen Brothers
Dark horse: (There Will Be Blood)



Best Director
Should Win: Coen Brothers (No Country For Old Men)
Will Win: Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood)
Dark horse: Jason Reitman (Juno)



Sunday, February 10, 2008

My Weekend Crush(es)

My friends we are living the dream. My weekend crush is a double whammy of epic proportions. Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson star in The Other Boelyn Girl coming soon to theaters. This novel adaptation is coming to film and I saw a sneak peek at it before the showing of Cloverfield and forgot about it because of the other awesome trailers released that day. I watched the trailer again, and got a full-on when I saw the two of them together. In the continuing tradition, I've posted a rather delectable set of pictures of both young actresses. On a personal side note, I love Natalie Portman bald. She's the only none-black woman who has pulled it off besides Emma Thompson in Wit. Fuck Sinead O'Connor... she's just silly looking as rats fucking. Enjoy!


!!O_O!!
GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THAT'S BORDERLINE RISQUE!!! But I love it.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

New Look


I changed a few things around so now the blog looks a little different. Now, don't freak out my babies, everything will still be the same...just in wide screen. Adjust your eyes accordingly. I have been getting the feeling that we are reaching the end times. i say this coming from apartment in Indianapolis where in the last two weeks we have gone from fall weather to Antarctica cold winter weather to near summer temperatures. I can safely conclude that the meteorologists in the surrounding areas don't know shit. And science when have meteorology been an actual science? I took philosophy of mind and it clearly defined the sciences: Geometry, Physics, Biology and Chemistry and lastly Psychology. If meteorology is to be considered a science, I'm calling shenanigans on it. It should be lumped in with cosmetology and astrology...i.e. BULLSHITOLOGY!!! I just made that up...you can use that if you want and you don't even need to reference me. Seriously I'm filing this last instance of meteorologistic fuckupery under EPIC FAIL!!! Cue the YTMND phailure linkage.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Iron Man invades the Superbowl

I know everyone was watching the Superbowl to see the who would come out on top, Patriots or Giants. SPOILER ALERT, TEH GIANTS whooped that ass. I for one couldn't have cared any less about the outcome of the game. I for one was preoccupied by the news of a promo for Iron Man that would be happening sometime between quarters. It was magnificent and I have it...watch it before the nethounds take it away. I must say, Robert Downey Jr. has restored my faith in Marvel movie products. Ghost Rider was okay, Peter Parker Cries with everyone he knows (Spiderman III) coulda been a helluva lot better...Iron Man has the potential to kick some serious Madarin ass, eventhough he isn't mentioned in any trailer. If only they would make a trailer for the Incredible Hulk reboot...sorry Eric Bana, even you couldn't save that p.o.s. once Ang Lee got his hands on it. Interesting rumor about both movies. Samuel L. Jackson apparently makes a cameo in Iron Man as Nick Fury, agent of S*H*I*E*L*D* and apparently there is a chance that William Hurt who's appearing in the Incredible Hulk may also cameo in Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. had to dodge questions abounding about if his Tony Stark was also appearing the new Incredible Hulk movie...I'm hoping these are all true, that would be a perfect foundation for a potential Avengers movie. Oh I can barely contain my comic book nerdy glee.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Sucks to be Brock Lesnar



Here's another in a long list of Epic Fails to befall sports stars. Former wrestler Brock Lesnar began his mixed martial arts career with a tapout last night at UFC 81. He probably shouldn't have left all of those adoring fans who loved him when he was Undisputed Champion in the WWE. He was one of the fastest climbing stars, become a wonder on par with the likes of Bill Goldberg and then at the height of his success in pro wrestling he got a wild hair up his as to try his hand at football. Looking at his build, that wouldn't sound like such a bad idea. He sadly didn't even play a game before he was cut by the Minnesota Vikings, who at the time...sucked something awful. Everyone who knew both professions thought the Brock would be a shoe in in the UFC...of course they put him in the ring for his debut against a former champion with a background in jujitsu. Hey, there's alway TNA wrestling...they have six-sided rings and old burnout wrestlers who can't travel anymore. Maybe they'd make you a champion there. FAIL!!!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Good, I'm not the only one thinking that.


I'm just glad I'm not the only one thinking Lindsey Lohan is on crystal meth. Have you seen her recently? The burnt nose tip is a dead fucking give away. Here's my LL confession. Back in senior year highschool, back in the day when LL was a Louisiana Hot Sauce red head I had a big fucking crush on her and her beautiful titties. Then I saw her when she became a dirty crack whore blonde and almost lost my lunch and I'm quite sure have of my sperm count. Interesting side-note, at senior prom I won a CD raffle and had to choose between Will Smith's latest single and LL's shitty album. Me being the horny teen went for the latter, worst decision, ever. You now, I can honestly say that Lindsey Lohan has become this millennium's biggest epic fail. Britney Spears is catching some steam, but I think things will turn around for her, or she'll just die. I think LL is gonna be around for a while...maybe Dr. Drew can get her on the next Celebrity Rehab...no, now that I think of it that would give her more publicity than I could stand. Anybody else remember when she used to be hot? Well, here are some then and now's for you to look at. Quick question: When is it right to tell someone they look like a choked out tramp...pre-snort or post? Answer: Anytime before they hang out with Paris Hilton...the one-eye enabler.




My Extra Special Weekend Crush

This being my 100th post (Celebratory Cheer!!!!) I've decided to give you all a double dose of girls to ogle at this weekend; which means less talking and more females. For any of you who are in sweet anticipation of the new Get Smart movie we've got Anne Hathaway, Agent 99. I'm geeking out just because I remember watching the tv series with Don Adams and schoolboy-crushing over 99. My boyhood fantasy is being realized!!! There are things I could say right now, but you know...none of that really matters. I've also decided to add a couple of pictures of Megan Fox to this weekend's post. Now, I for one only find Shia LeBeouf's costar from Transformers mildly attractive, at best. But, for some reason that I haven't figured out yet, every guy, and some girls that I know, think she's the new hot shit. I for one am confounded, and am reaching out for answers. Okay, look at the close-up shot of Megan Fox, second down...Is she is or is she ain't a tranny? That's all I'm saying. Well enjoy!!!