Saturday, November 3, 2007

Wag of the Finger: WGA Strikes...Put Me in Boss, I'll Be a Scab

Scab - noun - a worker who refuses to join a labor union or to participate in a union strike, who takes a striking worker's place on the job, or the like.

It's official, the Writers Guild of America has gone on strike. You do know what that means right? Nothing but shitty reality shows until the issue is settled. I for one am pissed. All of my shows have started their seasons and they may flounder now that the writers are on strike. I get really peeved when I don't get to watch my programs. Here's the lowdown.

That being said, I would like to just put my name out their for the producers of Heroes, Lost, Battlestar Galactica, How I Met Your Mother and a few other shows. I am willing to cross the picket line and do what needs to be done to ensure that the millions of television watchers out there get their fix. Just give me the episode's summary and I could punch up a 42 minute script for you in about four days. I would require some pizzas, Yoo Hoo, popcorn and a shit load of DVDs. Put me in a room with nothing but movies, comics and tv shows on DVD and I can make you a masterpiece.

And y0u know what, call me a scab. I don't care. I would rather be called a scab, than a greedy dick who needs more money. No offense to writers like Brian K. Vaughn, Tim Minear and Joss Whedon who could paint an epic story with their words, but I require the satisfaction of coming home from a long day of learning, sitting down in my favorite ass groove and letting television take me away from my problems for a few hours.

Quit being bitches, WGA, I'm guessing you guys like television and movies too? Well, are you okay with sitting down and watching Deal or No Deal everyday or Biggest Slut with slutty friends in formation behind her holding her hair as she pukes in the toilet because she's rich enough to only drink private reserve XO Hennessey Cognac? I highly doubt it. Hey, AMPTP (I haven't forgotten you), even though I would be willing to cross the picket line to ensure my favorite shows would be on the air, I must say if you can find some way to give these writers a few more may be looking at an uprising from loyal fans...

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