Thursday, November 8, 2007

Give Me One Reason: Celebrity Child Names

Okay, going in the fashion of Peter Griffin on Family Guy and his whole grind my gears segment on the news, I've decided to add a little rant to my blog. Okay, give me one good reason to fuck up your kid's futures by giving them some weird goddamned name...DON'T WORRY, I'll wait. Fuck you if you think a name like Chastity, Courvoisier, or Destiny makes them distinguished. A name like Hayden is not real... There is a list on the internet of the 50 craziest Celebrity Child Names, I'm sticking with them because they have the ability to influence other people into naming their kids fucked up names. Here are a couple:
  • Pilot Inspektor (I shit you not): Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
  • Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon
  • Kal-El Coppola (Possibly my favorite): Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)
  • Seven Sirius: Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu
  • Satchel (Hey Satchel, give me a HBJ...hand bag job): Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee
  • Kyd (They named their Kid...kyd): David Duchovny and Tea Leoni

What ever happened to names like Eddie,Vincent, Clint, or Jeff (or Geoff)...I know kids can be cruel...naming your kid Moon Unit, Dweezlil or Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen is making them cannon fodder and I'm quite sure a name like Pilot Inspektor is gonna get you beat up and your lunchmoney stolen....(Can you name the artist whose kids I just mentioned? I'll give you a hint: his first name isn't fucked up, but his last name is...here's another hint: Joe's Garage.) Answer: Frank Zappa

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